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Charles Reinke: "You Win Some, You Lose Some.  Unless You're Me."

1st Charles Reinke found the sensation of loss to be distasteful, so he smartly didn't lose any games, going 4-0 +509.  Showcasing his occasionally-employed defensive prowess, he held his opponents to a stifling 335 point-per-game average.  Peter Schmiedicke bore the brunt of Charles' wrath, losing 354-519 despite an equal two bingos each (SINUATED and SAURIES for Peter, PUNNERS and AVENTAIL for Charles). 

2nd Lynda "Bringer of Cookies" Finn averaged a knee-quaking 428 points per game, an impressive amount that doubtlessly enabled her to go 3-1 +300.  Over two bingos a game also didn't hurt.  Her high game of the night was a 484-311 match against Helen Flores;   Lynda's formula for victory in that one was to bingo often while simulatenously not allowing her opponent to bingo.  EXPANSE, PRINTED, and ERASING each donated fifty bonus points to her point total, making one wonder: why can't I just bingo every turn?  Only Charles Reinke was able to halt the cookie-provider, defeating her 424-356.  Again, two bingos were played by each contestant: INTERNE (later extended to INTERNEE) and MISRAISE on the Lynda side of the board, and SCUTAGE and ENSURER on the Charles side.

3rd Thomas Reinke overcame a back-alley beating at the hands of Richard Lauder, 318-523, to go 3-1 +86.  Richard played EVERTORS, SORDINI, OVENBIRD, and STARTING to easily take down the sprier and more agile Thomas.  Such unfortunate circumstance would not befall Thomas for the rest of the night; on the contrary, he enjoyed often the succulent delights of the tile bag, playing seven bingos in his final three games.  The closest of those victories was a 447-394 defeat of Andy Bohnsack.  Andy may have been able to make the game closer, but alas, he was preoccupied with whether his fantasy basketball players would suck or not.  In what seems to be a recurring theme, both players bingoed twice: Andy played COMELIER and VIBRANT while Thomas played ECOCIDAL and PLATINAS. 

Richard Lauder, while not placing in the top three, smirks dismissively at the miniscule bingo totals of the above players, as he himself played twelve bingos over the course of four games.  Both of his wins were with scores over 500.  Not all was rosy: Richard Lauder is awarded the newly-minted "Diadem of Shame" for playing the only phony of the night, WETTENS.  This diadem will clash horribly with his Bingo King crown.

Sue Goldstein Wins Two of Four; Nothing Else to Say, Really

1st Sue Goldstein had a 2-2 -36 final record, eschewing the concept of "bingoing" and instead going for the tried-and-true "just score points, stupid" method.  She took down June Scott 337-282 for one of her hard-fought wins.

2nd Aki Miura finished 1-1 +31 as the only intermediate player with a positive spread.  Thanks to their late arrival, Aki and Sharlie were forced to play each other, the first time they have faced off at club in several years.  Aki took the win, 303-256.

Thomas Reinke Reads Sun Tzu's "The Art of War", Applies its Teachings to Scrabble

1st Thomas Reinke enjoyed a dominant 4-1 +558 performance in preparation for this weekend's Wisconsin Dells tournament.  Every game he played eclipsed the 400-point mark.  In a showdown vs. Mary Becker, Thomas P'ed all over the board with three bingos starting with P: POTTEENS, PROCHEIN (adj. Nearest in time; next), and the nine-letter PARALYSES off of PA.  Mary found EQUALISE, but Thomas cleaned her clocks, 547-321.  The T-twin also pulled of a stunning one-turn, 130-point comeback against Richard Lauder, playing the word CITIZEN for 132 to go out and win 404-381.  Quick quiz: find the anagram of CITIZEN.  Answer at the bottom.  I'll know if you peek.

2nd Charles Reinke had a slightly less dominant 3-1 +505 record to place second in the expert division.  Lynda Finn grinded out a closely-fought win for Charles' only loss of the night, 406-417.  Charles did find the clever MATZOONS (n. matzoon, an Armenian yogurt-like food, also madzoon), but Lynda's three bingos of INSTATE, GERENTS, and TIERCED provided enough scoring to clinch the win.  For the second week in a row, Charles climbed and conquered the perilous crags of Mount 600, scoring exactly that amount in a drubbing of Helen Flores.  Charles' painless ascent can be attributed to his playing of four bingos in a row: ERODABLE, LINGERS, EXCITES, and UNAGILE.  In Scrabble circles, this is known as a bingo-bango-bongo-holy **** (insert swear of choice).

3rd Richard Lauder is back in the swing of things, finishing with an impressive 3-1 +77.  Stealthily lying in wait behind shelves of books, he sprung upon his opponents with unexpected vigor, then carefully dismantled them with precision, playing at least two bingos in each contest.  Peter Schmiedicke was just one of his victims, with Richard enlisting the help of words such as TONTINE, MANNITE, and TOILSOME to prevail 425-378.  Peter played CITADELS and GAUDIES, but his bingo-finding acumen was for nought.

Enough cool bingos were played that they get their own paragraph.  Mary Becker had only two bingos, but they both contained a Q: EQUALISE and EQUINES.  Bryan Benwitz played the uncommon FOVEOLA, which has many derivatives: FOVEA, FOVEOLE, FOVEOLET, and even FOVEIFORM.  Richard played the sticky-S ANALECTS (also ANALECTA).  Peter Schmiedicke found the A-heavy ATAXIAS (also ATAXY/ATAXIES). The word of the week was chosen out of these many deserving candidates to be Charles' DIOICOUS (an adjective used of plants to indicate that they have either a male or female sexual organ, but not both, also spelled DIOECIOUS or DIECIOUS).

Sue Goldstein Takes Joy in The Simple Things: Newspapers, Cookies, and Total Scrabble Annihilation

1st Sue Goldstein emerged victorious in a three-round bout with June Scott, 2-1 +85.  She used the bingo of FLORALS to score 368 for her highest game of the night. 

(Quiz answer: ZINCITE.  The more you know.)

While Congresspeople Shut Down Government, Charles Reinke Shuts Down Scrabble Players' Hopes and Dreams

1st Charles Reinke's new goal to average 500 over a club season is proceeding apace, as he averaged 501 points per game while going 5-0 +856.  His "worst" game of the evening was a "mere" 442 points against Richard Lauder's 395.  Richard gets a pass however, as he was mauled by several bears on his way back from a month-long west-coast excursion, and through the haze of a heavy dose of morphine managed to find three bingos: REFUTERS, TANISTS (n. TANIST, the heir to a Celtic chief), and SHALIER.  Charles bingoed with MACULATE (v. to mark with spots) and DELTAIC, but such a paltry amount of bingos did little to warm the burnt heart-husk occupying his chest.  What did warm his heart was his 629-338 victory versus Lynda Finn, wherein he played PTOMAIN, BEGUILED, ABSOLVED, and the nine TITRATING (through the first T and the N).  Lynda put up a good fight by playing CAROTINS and the Word of the Week, JACONETS (n. JACONET, a cotton cloth).

2nd Mary Becker overcame a rough start to the club season and forced her way into the top three, finishing 3-1 +234.  Most of her spread was generously donated by June Scott, who fell to Mary 202-431.  Mary played BOONIES in that one.   Only Betty Hasselkus was able to throw a wrench into the ever-turning cogs of the Mary Machine, defeating her 371-342 with the help of bingos LOUSIER and LITTERS.

3rd Lynda Finn's 3-1 +51 was good for the bronze medal.  She was one agonizing point away from the mystical 600, scoring 599 (to Andy Bohnsack's 391) and getting three bingos: LINTERS, FESTOON, and the 149-point nine-timer COTERIES.  That combined score of 990 is the highest combined score so far this year.  Lynda also squeaked one out against Thomas Reinke, 389-387.  It just goes to show: the player who scores more points will usually win.

4th(?!?!?!?!) Betty Hasselkus missed out on third place by eleven spread points, going 3-1 +40.  For her trouble she gets to be mentioned in the writeup. 

Sue Goldstein on Two-Person Intermediate Group: "If You're Not First, You're Last"

1st Sue Goldstein went 1-2 -97, using the bingo of LETTERS to outscore June Scott 344-272.