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Bryan Benwitz Leaves Opponents Cryan' (I Think That Joke has been Made Before)

1st Bryan Benwitz cruised to his first undefeated performance in several months, going 4-0 with a sizable but not utterly outrageous spread of +460 and a mildly outrageous average of 459 per game. His scoring engines were fully revved up by the second game as he supplied some serious Scrabble-style schooling to Dennis Lloyd, 473-315. Dennis played the super-high-probability TRAINEE (anagrams: RETINAE and ARENITE), but Bryan responded with a high-probability bingo assault of POGONIAS, SANTERA, and DETINUES. His next opponent, Thomas Reinke, had marginally more success in the bingo department (OARLIKE, NUTSEDGE), but Bryan still won in a landslide, 524-361. His scorecard alleges that he only played three bingos in that game: GALOSHES, SMEARED, and MARLITE. Flush with confidence after that convincing victory, Bryan then went on to secure his lossless night with a more closely-contested 460-416 win over Charles Reinke. Surprise of surprises, Bryan again played three bingos (OUTLINE, GASSIER, TATTIES), but Charles did find the word-of-the-week BIOETHIC (pertaining to BIOETHICS, ethics in biology) as well as RELUCTS.

2nd Charles Reinke went 4-1 +435, and while he didn't quite maintain his yearly average of 478, he didn't lower it too much by averaging 441 over his five games. His most convincing win came against the previous week's 4-0 finisher, Mary Becker; Charles dashed her dreams of a repeat performance with a 427-277 win. Later, he would further pad his spread totals with a two-on-one series against Susan Vergeront and Helen Flores. Both games were 100+ point victories (491-366 against Susan, 451-328 againast Helen) despite just three bingos total for Charles in the two games: SORDINI, GOWANED, and METEORIC. The total for his opponents was identical: Susan played PASTRIES and SLANTED, while Helen got down DISTORT.

3rd Thomas Reinke went 3-1 +205 and was co-bingo king with Richard Lauder, both players having eleven bingos. Other than the unfortunate loss against the guy in the first paragraph, all of Thomas' scores were in the mid-to-high 400's. Against Andy Bohnsack in the first round, Thomas did not delay in throwing down bingos, getting RAVINES, PALETTES, and UNBITTER in a 471-360 victory. Semi-newcomer Cal Wiederholdt got his first taste of the terrible twins' bingoing prowess, witnessing Thomas play OWLIEST, ENTRAPS, and AMNESIA, plays that turned a close game into a 467-305 win for the bingoer. Thomas' final win was also his closest, 470-375 versus Dennis Lloyd. Dennis collected a nice 99 points for his play of DESCENT, but Thomas used raw word power to prevail, playing WHINIEST, MAINTOPS, and VENETIAN.

One Can Only Hope Our New Queen is as Benevolent as the Deposed King

1st Mary Becker started off the new club season with determination, going 4-0 +302, her first undefeated performance since 2012. In her usual manner, she didn't rely on bingoes to earn the wins, instead preferring to find other ways to score. After all, two 35-ish point plays are about the same as a fishing play and a bingo. She beat Dave and Gail with the help of one bingo per, PLEASING against Dave and RELEASE against Gail, scoring 390 both times. This led to a matchup with Thomas in the 3rd game, where, despite his bingos of TEGULAR and DOYENNE (n. a female doyen, appropriate in this case), she earned the win 403-363 with the help of a multitude of high-scoring non-bingos. Being lossless going into the final game, it only made sense that she was paired against the other lossless player, John, in what was probably not a very expected matchup of undefeateds. With the help of FESTIVAL, she got the victory, 394-328, and now stands alone at the top of the club standings. How's the weather up there?

2nd Charles Reinke fell drastically off his previous seasons's 75.8 winning percentage pace, going 3-1 +514, .032 wins less than expected. He started off well against Betty, showing no indications of the disappointing night he would have, winning 540-280 while playing TURBOJET (n. probably a really powerful type of jet engine), the always-appropriate VERBOSE, and DIAGNOSE. His bingos of ENTRIES and DOWNTIME were not enough against Thomas, against whom he he lost humiliatingly 386-434. He managed to secure two more big wins against Dave and Bryan, playing the nifty AHIMSAS (n. the concept of nonviolence in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism) against Dave, but it was not enough to salvage the night. Charles' meager 75 percent win rate on this night can never be erased from the club's collective memory.

3rd Andy Bohnsack celebrated the start of a new school year by going 3-1 +178. He started off with a 431-367 win over Aaron, giving him a one-game winning streak over the guy who just got done beating him 12 times in a row. Only 11 more Andy, you can do it! In the second round, he faced club newcomer John, who utilized his prior Scrabble experience to win 387-354, playing RETAINED and ENABLER to Andy's HALIDES. If the loss affected him, he didn't show it with his play the next two games. He first beat Gail 447-320 with the bingos of EDIFYING (anagram DEIFYING) and OVERSTIR (anagram SERVITOR), and then beat Thomas, 422-402, with the help of OUTEARNS, LEVATOR, and SAGUARO.

Dave played the Word of the Week, MYELINES (n. alternate spelling of MYELIN, a fatty substance surrounding the axon of nerve fibers).

Lynda "Infinnite Points" Finn Scores Many, but Not Quite Infinite, Points

1st Lynda Finn went 4-1 +134, coming in first by taking advantage of a programming feature which sorts players by total wins, not win percentage. She phonied in both of her closest wins, proving that 1.) phonying is fun and 2.) sometimes you need to do it if you want to win. Against Dennis Lloyd, Lynda won by a score of 415-407, playing the valid CALDERAS to go along with GOSSIMER (GOSSAMER is the correct spelling); Dennis had SPRINTED and OUTLINED. Later, in a game against Mary Becker, Lynda barely came away with the victory, winning 423-421 thanks to an impossible-to-challenge PIROGHIS. PIROGHI is valid, and most variations of that tasty Russian dumpling do take an S, so it's not surprising that it stayed on the board. Lynda did not need to utilize any fake words in her first-place-clinching victory over Thomas Reinke, 539-387. All four of her bingos were legit: MARLIEST, FLAVINE, PURITANS, and TONSURE. Thomas got down ARIETTA and ETRIERS, but all he managed to accomplish with those bingos was a 150-point loss instead of a 250-point loss.

2nd Aaron Bader went 3-0 +263, then went home, forfeiting his chance for a helping of that four-and-oh undefeated glory. He started off his evening strong with a revenge win against Charles Reinke, 498-371. His high-scoring bingos of BIOCIDE (81), INWEAVES (80), and SHOUTER (90) were more than enough to trump Charles' DIESTRUM (84). After a prosaic 388-317 game against Helen Flores where Aaron's INTERNE was the only bingo on the board, Aaron defeated the previously-though-to-be-undefeatable Lynda Finn 404-339. It was another sad day for bingo fans, as there was only a single bingo on the board (RETURNED for Lynda) before the last two plays. Lynda bingoed with FUMIEST for what she thought was enough to squeak out the win, and instantly Aaron says "you aren't going to like this" and bingos out with APNOEAS for the win.

3rd Charles Reinke finished at 3-1 +357, some 100 spread points ahead of some other guy who shares his last name. Charles lost to Aaron Bader in his first game (the gory details of which are outlined above), but rebounded quickly with a 457-250 win against Sue Goldstein, made possible by bingos of ACETATE, IMAGINED, and INDICTED. Gail Salm managed to get a bit closer to defeating Charles with a 363-425 final score in their matchup. She even outbingoed him, playing two (GLANDERS and SINCERER) to Charles' one (ENTRAPS). Another three-bingo output for Charles, in the final game of the night, resulted in another 200-point victory; Charles played ELOIGNED, ANODISE, and TOREADOR to beat Richard Lauder (who got down ASSURED) 518-303.

With the last session in August comes the end of the club season. Charles ended the year strong and finished with the club's highest winning percentage at 75.8%, a comfortable 1.2% ahead of Thomas at 74.6%. Aaron rounded out the top three with a 67.5% mark. Charles also averaged a lofty 450 points per game, easily tops among regular players.