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How Many Times Has Her Name Been Spelled "Linda Fynn"?

1st Lynda Finn smashed the patriarchy, the matriarchy, the hagiarchy, basically all the -archies as she went 4-0 +349. She got her night off to a good start against Gail, winning 453-318, playing BEARISH (with the way the blank was placed, it could have been BEAUISH or BEAMISH) and RELIVES. She followed that up with a semi-decisive victory over Aaron, 418-349. Aaron got down NOISETTE and PENNIES versus Lynda's SEDITION and RANTERS (n. one that rants, DUH). Against Dennis in the third round, she played EASEMENT (replace the first E with a C or a B for CASEMENT or BASEMENT) and BETIDED in a 461-369 win. She saved her best for last against Thomas, bingoing four (the amount of bingos needed to 100% guarantee a win against that dude) times and securing her first undefeated session since September.

2nd Thomas Reinke averaged a pretty-good-but-not-totally-mindblowing 475 on his way to a 3-1 +343 night. He won a close one against Richard in the first game, 405-366, playing HINTERS and TAGINES (also spelled TAJINES). He then won a not-so-close one against Mary, 562-316, opening with SLEEKED for 84 and rolling from there. A similar fate awaited Bryan, as Thomas opened with TZARINA for 102, eventually playing 3 more high-scoring bingos (including ESOTERIC, which was extended to ESOTERICA as he played yet another bingo) and scoring 527. Bryan did play DIAZOLES and OPENERS to score a respectable 416 himself, so it wasn't all sad, just mostly sad. Thomas' hot streak ended abruptly at the hands of Lynda in the final game, probably because he didn't open with a bingo. It's just so much easier to win when you get a head start like that.

3rd Charles Reinke also went 3-1, but came in third solely because of how bad Michael kicked his butt in the first game. Here's all you need to know about that game: Michael played BLOTCHED for 176 points. Charles' vengeance was swift, but misplaced: he beat Dave in the next game by over 200 points, playing ISOLEAD and MISRAISE. Against Andy in the third round, he won 399-318, playing CIBOULE and SURREAL. More bingos would have been played, but a blank was the last tile in the bag, much to Andy's dismay. Bingos were again in short supply in the Bryan-Charles matchup, with each of them playing one apiece. Charles won, 410-374, but I bet if you asked him, he'd say he'd rather bingo five times than win the game.

In other news, the adjacent games of Richard vs. Dennis and Andy vs. Gail in the final round produced a combined 14 bingos, 7 in each game. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I did sneak the lucky folding table where the games occurred out of the church. You can rent it for your next tournament for a small fee, if you want bingos to be in unnatural abundance.

Michael David... and Goliath! Nah, That Doesn't Make Sense

1st Michael David secured his first top finish since his long-awaited return to club, going 4-0 +222. In the first round, he survived a close match with Helen, winning 390-372 thanks to his bingo of ENDIVES (n. disgusting salad greens). His second game was almost as close, with him defeating Dave 363-334. Michael played OUTDONE (anagram DUOTONE), but, not to be outdone, Dave's FORCERS for 93 kept him in the game until the end. Michael's bingoing (and thus, scoring) started picking up against Richard, against whom he got down ACULEATE (n. a stinging insect) and INWARDLY in a 449-364 victory. He saved his great accomplishment for last, ending Aaron's 9-game winning streak, 487-391, saving the club a ton of money in the process. Not like we don't enjoy giving out money. Just saying though. Anyway, Michae's three bingos of SOLATED, RENEWALS, and ERASION were enough to counteract Aaron's nice find of BHANGRAS (n. a genre of Punjabi music, a noteworthy example of the style being "Tunak Tunak Tun" by Daler Mehndi) for 106.

2nd Thomas Reinke averaged 502, which is only halfway to a thousand, points per game on his way to a 3-1 +516 record. He dispatched Lynda in the first game with his bingos of FISTING (which takes an S, if anyone was curious) and CHALONE. Against Bryan, he won, 560-384, playing MYNHEER (n. a Dutch title of courtesy for a man, also spelled MIJNHEER), SOIGNEE, and DELUDED. Bryan did get down ABALONE and a late HISTONE, but it wasn't enough. Don't you sometimes wish that the bonus for bingos was like 250 points instead of 50? I bet Bryan does. At least in this case. In the third game, Aaron edged out Thomas, 440-422 with his bingos of ALDICARB for 95 and QUERIED for 90. Incensed by his poor luck, Thomas unleashed the fury against Gail, winning 545-335 with a barrage of early bingoing. In quick succession, he played ENISLES, SAPREMIA, STRIDING, and DENOTING, using up all the good tiles and leaving none for Gail. How rude!

3rd Charles Reinke edged out Aaron for third place by one spread point with his 3-1 +19 record. If it turns out that Aaron should actually be in third due to a data entry error, there will be no apologies. Typing numbers is hard! This paragraph will continue assuming that Charles is the rightful winner. Coincidentally, Charles lost to Aaron in the first round, 386-471, probably because he, at one point, drew a rack of a AEINST?. Racks like that are a bad omen. He bingoed with RETSINA, but when your opponent can bingo from a rack of DEFGITY with FIDGETY, it's easy to see who deserves to win. Charles made up for his first-round loss with a 458-411 win against Lynda in the next game, a game which featured his very nice find of PALEOCON (n. an extremely right-wing conservative). Against David in the third round, Charles withstood an early barrage of scoring by his opponent to win 403-358, playing a lone bingo, CENTIARE. Charles' 424-412 win against Bryan, combined with Aaron's loss, in the final game of the night was just enough to slide him into third. Again, there will be no refunds for mis-inputted scores.

Aaron Bader Ends Bryan Benwitz' Winning Streak at 11, Bingos 13 Times, Averages 461, and Probably Also Saved a Bunch of Kids from a Burning Orphanage

1st Aaron Bader was convinced to stay for the fourth round, and it's lucky he did, because he turned a pedestrian 3-0 record into an astounding 4-0 +345 record against a series of tough opponents. He didn't waste any time achieving greatness, snapping Bryan Benwitz' eleven-game winning streak in the first game of the night, 476-332. Aaron had four bingos in that one, a portent of things to come: BANDERS, SEDATES, ECTOMERE, and REFILING. In the next game, word knowledge was brazenly flaunted by Charles Reinke as he played the word of the week, KLEPHTIC (a KLEPHT is a medieval Greek guerilla fighter), but this impudence did not lead to a win, as he fell to Aaron 394-485, mostly due to Aaron's bingos of AMADOUS, BIOPICS (anagram BIOPSIC), and GLITTER. A less-braggadocious win over Lynda Finn followed, but Aaron went right back to his high-scoring ways in the final game of the night, taking out Andy Bohnsack 473-369. Aaron was again ruthless in his pursuit of bingos, and his phony TAXINGS didn't lessen the impact of his valid bingos, EPISTLE, PHENOLIC, and TEENAGER. Andy had SOUVENIR and COURAGES, proving that U's aren't the worst tile ever, except they are (also Andy if you're reading this, YOU DIDN'T WRITE DOWN THE SCORES FOR YOUR BINGOS. SHAME SHAME SHAME)

2nd Lynda Finn didn't quite average 461, but she did average 457 per game, nearly 60 points better than her yearly average. Oh yeah, and she also went 3-1 +342. A score of 557 against Richard Lauder (321) was her highest score of the club year so far, and her 158-point triple-triple of FINDABLE (a very findable bingo for her) was her highest-scoring bingo since we started keeping track of that stuff (that's why it's important to WRITE YOUR SCORES DOWN). Her sole loss was to Aaron Bader, 377-410, and it just happened to be the only game where she played fewer than two bingos (TEMPEST was her only one, whlie Aaron had FRETWORK and TESTUDO). She recovered quickly from that loss by unleashing her fury upon club leader Charles Reinke, beating him 410-375 thanks to her two bingos of SIGNALED and SMUTTILY (see? bingoing more = guaranteed wins).

3rd Thomas Reinke finished with a record of 3-1 +172. He barely got away with a win against Mary Becker, 386-381, then fell to Gail Salm, 393-374. OUTSTEPS, EASEMENT, ELDRESS, and FARADISE were his bingos in those two games. The scoring for Thomas picked up significantly after that point, as Michael David sadly found out; their match ended with a score of 498-331. OVATION was Michael's valiant attempt to stay competetive in the game, but Thomas' GLITTERS, ARTISTS, and LEMONIER were just too much to overcome. The real excitement, however, came in the fourth and final match, as Thomas and Bryan Benwitz sat down across from each other and prepared to do battle. Battle was done indeed: the final score was an insane 538-519 in Thomas' favor! Bryan's 519 is the highest loss EVER at our club, and losing with four bingos must also be a very rare occurrence. Bryan's bingos were EQUALISE, NEOTERIC, AUSTERE, and PAVEABLE; Thomas let PAVEABLE by because it gave him the A he needed for FARMHAND. Thomas' other bingos were AIRFOIL, PELICANS, and AUTOMEN. Let us now have a moment of silence for Thomas' board, which, in response to the overwhelming scoring burden placed upon it, spontaneously burst into flames soon after the game ended, and was reduced to a pile of smoldering ashes.