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If Wins Were Losses, Bryan Would Have Lost All His Games

1st Bryan Benwitz went undefeated (adj. that means he won all of his games) for the first time in several months, going 4-0 +420. He started off with a 426-293 win against Mary, a win made possible by a rare bingo containing both a W and a U: REWOUND. Personally, I would have angrily played WUD as soon as I saw the rack, so good on Bryan for perservering. If you read the first sentence of this paragraph, you will know what the result of his second-round match with David was: a win! 416-302 to be precise, with Bryan playing the ever-useful ETOILES as well as FERNIER. A slow start for Bryan in the third round eventually ended up as a decisive 470-385 win against Thomas. Thomas got down GITTERNS and BOTTLER, while Bryan played RESITED, ANGIOMAS, and, with a rack of AENRT??, somehow navigated his plethora (194 in this case) of bingo options and settled with CARNETS. The final game was the battle of the three-and-ohs, Bryan vs. Dennis, and Bryan came out on top 421-333. He outbingoed his opposition 3 to 0, with GENESES (the only valid plural of GENESIS, no GENESISES* here), LINTERS, and EQUINES.

2nd Charles Reinke went 3-1 +439, foolishly attempting the "Swiss gambit" (losing the first round in order to avoid the toughest competition in future rounds) and coming up short of first place. He lost his opener against Dennis, 395-422, probably because he only got one bingo, UTENSILS. Dennis played TRAINED and ABALONE early, and was able to keep up the scoring just enough to get the win. Against Sue, Charles faced a tough opening-rack quandary: UPBUILD or BUILDUP? He picked BUILDUP, and apparently that was the right choice, because he ended up scoring 546. His high scoring continued in the third round against Dave, where he won 527-384. He opened with a natural MATCHED and never looked back, also playing NEWTONS (passing up the fancier nine-letter NEWSWOMEN), RETARDED, and ISOGONY. Dave got some small measure of revenge, getting away with the phony QUINELLE* (QUENELLE is the correct spelling), embarrassing Charles in front of everybody. Charles' last game of the night was a 6-bingo affair versus Lynda, with both of them playing 3 apiece. Lynda played BIRTHED, SCATTER, and STUDYING, while Charles played ADAPTION, NEURITIS, and AVOIDABLE. Charles ended up winning 488-426, proving that, uh, actually I don't know what he proved.

3rd Thomas Reinke came in third with his 3-1 +159 record. He won 427-404 against Gail, playing OMNIVORA and the phony LANTERNED*. Gail kept it close with DUALISES, NETTIER making four overlaps, FEARING making five overlaps, but couldn't find enough scoring in the endgame. Against Lynda, Thomas won 472-403 with the aid of UNBRAID, AUREOLED (v. to surround with a halo), and PRISSED (v. to act in a prissy manner, as in "Thomas prissed all over the board"). We already heard the happy (or sad, depending on which side you support, TEAM BRYAN ALL THE WAY!) tale of how Thomas lost to Bryan, so let us now hear the tale of how he beat Mary, 466-314. It's not the greatest tale ever told: he bingoed with OLESTRA, OMERTAS, and PANTIES, hogging all the good tiles and leaving none for Mary. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Aaron Bader Outwords Everybody

1st Aaron Bader took on a veritable "killer's row" of opponents, but was undaunted by the challenge, winning them all to go 4-0 +318. He started out with a 430-372 win over Thomas Reinke, getting bingos of MAENADS and SURGERS against Thomas' CIRRATE and ALMONER. Later he would achieve a victory over the other Reinke, beating Charles 433-398 thanks to CHANTEYS and a timely nine-letter find of EULOGISES (Charles had CORMOID and DEBATING). Unfortunately for Aaron, there is no third Reinke to exploit for easy victories, so he had to settle for a win against Bryan Benwitz instead (his inclusion as an honorary third Reinke is pending a vote from the Reinke tribunal). Aaron still remembers the time Bryan scored 645 against him, so on this occasion he refused to let Bryan even reach the 300 mark; the final score was 393-288. No remorse was felt when Aaron got by the phony DEMODING (only DEMODE and DEMODED are good). Overall, Aaron showed an extreme lack of remorse for any of the actions he perpetrated on his defenseless opponents.

2nd Lynda Finn continued her strong start to the club season, and retained her current top spot in the standings, with a 3-1 +412 record. Her one loss was against, who else, Aaron Bader, who defeated her in a high-scoring bout, 536-416. Lynda had CAROTINS as her only bingo, and it was not nearly enough against Aaron's WAVIEST, OUTLEAP, SECRETIN, and RABBETS. The rest of Lynda's games resulted in more favorable outcomes; she defeated the suddenly-vulnerable Thomas Reinke 425-383 with high-quality expert bingo finds of STARTED and AGONIES. Thomas contributed to the high level of bingoing in that game by getting SOUARIS and RETINOID. Lynda finished up her night with her largest win ever, winning by a margin of 369 points against Richard Lauder, 565-196. Her accomplishment was mildly sullied by a phony ANNULIS (a creative combination of ANNULI and ANNULUS), but she offset that error with a nice find of SMARAGD (an obsolete term for an emerald, also SMARAGDE) as well as two other bingos, GRITTIER and OVEREDIT.

3rd Charles Reinke rounded out the top three with a 3-1 +224 finish. He took the first game against Dave Gilligan 459-335 despite getting outbingoed two to one (Dave's BRINIEST and LANTERNS vs. Charles' HAIRPINS). He then posted another strong win over Bryan Benwitz, 464-341. This time around, he was the one outbingoing somebody, getting two bingos of BENISON and OUTPRAY vs. Bryan's lonely SANATIVE (adj. having the power to cure or heal). After stumbling against a ruthless Aaron, he recovered in the final game against his own brother, winning a low-scoring matchup 366-354. In a dramatic departure from their usual high-flying style, each involved player had just one bingo: PLANGENT for Charles and TACRINE for Thomas. This situation seems like it's begging for a collusion investigation, except usually when people collude, it's to get really high scores, not really low scores.

Overall Club Win Rate Holds Steady at 50 Percent

1st Thomas Reinke bingoed 13 times, which is a pretty good amount of bingos but not, you know, a totally insane amount of bingos, and as a result went 3-1 +380. His night got off to a good start against Betty, against whom he scored 524 and slapped down four bingos. Against Aaron in the second game, his out-bingo of TOENAILS was not enough, and he lost 439-452. He also played ANTIRED (adj. opposed to communism) and OREBODY that game, the latter being the oft-speculated missing link between REBODY and FOREBODY. More bingoage occurred in his 499-367 win against Dave:  JOINERS, AROUSING, OBESITY, and ACETONIC. Dave kept it close-ish with his double-double of DELISTED and a variety of high-scoring plays, but the bingo deficit eventually caught up with him. In the final game, challenger Bryan struck first with LOATHED and latter added TRANNIES, but Thomas' RUINOUS and AERATIONS were enough to win, 430-390.

2nd Lynda Finn, following her first place finish last week, came in second (a disturbing trend??????) this week, going 3-1 +102. She opened the session strongly against Charles, winning 462-408 with the aid of a SCALDING BONFIRE. She hit a minor roadblock in the form of Dave in the second round, losing 364-392, but quickly recovered against Helen, 443-401. Her recovery happened to include the phony LUNKIER* (real word URNLIKE), but we're not going to judge. It certainly looks very much like a word. Lynda finished off her night with a resounding 452-418 victory over Aaron, where she played NEUROMA, RELOADS, and GRATINEE. Lynda has now won against Aaron 4 out of the last 6 times they have played.

3rd Bryan Benwitz edged out Gail for third place, going 3-1 +48. He defeated Richard in the opener with his out-bingo of TEOSINTE, overcoming Richard's GUANASE, TITULAR, and MORSELED. He followed that up with a close 414-381 win over Helen, featuring the so-questionable-it's-not-even-good-in-Collins IVORIEST (adj most ivory?). Speaking of Collins, in the third game Bryan beat Aaron, 407-385. Not quite as decisive as the last time Bryan accomplished that feat (the number 645 is for some reason popping into my memory), but good enough. His sole bingo that game was SAUCIERS (n. SAUCIER, a chef who specializes in sauces).

Aaron played the word-of-the-week, HETAIRAI, which is a plural of HETAIRA, a concubine in ancient Greece. In other news, the club has now passed 13000 unique bingos played, which seems like a lot. In other other news, Gail probably some sort of club record when she won the low K prize with a 39 point play. New rule: prizes for low plays will not be awarded for words scoring more than 25 points. We will not continue to reward such an obvious lack of effort.